THA S02 EP#9 - Stuck in Someday: How to Start What You Keep Delaying

We all say we’ll start tomorrow. But what keeps us from following through?

In this episode, Michael Cupps and Florencia Llosas explore why habits don’t stick—even when we want them to. From finite time blindness to emotional burnout, they unpack what’s really holding you back and how to reset.

You’ll learn:

• Why awareness isn’t enough
• How emotions derail routines
• Simple ways to build habits that last

Start now, not someday.

This Show is sponsored by TimeBandit.io

Check out our Live Show Events here: The Habit Architect Live Show

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Chapters

• 0:00 Intro: Why Habits Don't Stick
• 4:53 What Is Finite Time Blindness
• 11:23 The Trap of Short-Term Comfort
• 18:38 Anchoring Habits to Your Values
• 28:03 How to Start Without Overwhelm
• 39:23 Final Thoughts and a Challenge for You

Transcript

Michael Cupps: 0:23

Hello and welcome to the Habit Architect. My name is Michael Cups. I'm glad to see everybody back with us. Uh, we've got a really fun show today because I'm gonna introduce you to somebody that, uh, that we're having a lot of fun with and, and getting to know in the Habit Architect Show. So I'll talk about that in a minute. But the topic today is about. When we talk to people about habits, what they say, so most people know, they say, I've read the book Atomic Habits. I know I need to, I know habits and, but when I ask the question, what habits are you doing today? I get a lot of stammering and stuttering. Well, uh, uh, I'm gonna start, you know, that later. I don't know. I'm gonna, you know, I am gonna walk, but they, there's really not a plan associated with their habit structure. And I wanna spend a little bit of time today talking about that because we all are aware of what we should go do or want to go do. Uh, but there's something that kind of holds us back or prevents us from getting where we want to go. And so I want to explore that topic a little bit today. And of course you can find information on, uh, time bandit.io and some of the things we're talking about today. Really, you should have a habit tracker. So if you don't have a habit tracker, go to your Apple store. Go to your Google Play store. Download Time Bandit, uh, the mobile app because it has a really great habit tracker in there. And if you don't wanna use that one, you've got another one. Just get a habit tracker because that accountability is one of the things that I'm gonna talk a little bit about today. But before we get onto that, I wanna introduce everybody that watches the show to Florencia. So Florencia is if you can come back from backstage onstage in the virtual world. Hello. Hi,

Flor Llosas: 1:58

how are you?

Michael Cupps: 1:59

Um,

Flor Llosas: 2:00

I'm good.

Michael Cupps: 2:00

I am so excited to have you on with me today because I've really enjoyed getting to know you. So for those of you are wondering who is, who is Flora? She is the producer of the Habit Architect starting with season two. So all the recent episodes and the ones you will see coming up. Uh, she is the producer of, and I'm, we're having so much fun getting to know one another and she pushes me in interesting ways, uh, being in her age bracket versus mine. And it's fun and it's good. And, uh, I think we're all better for it. How are you today? I'm good actually. Um. I'm gonna, I'm, I'm hoping I do a good job, so you invite me back so I can, I can be a guest again. Such an honor. I have a feeling if you just be yourself, it's gonna be great. So, okay, so, uh, I wanna talk about a couple of things today. Uh, you and I have talked a little bit about the topics and we talk about it, it seems like weekly about habits and priorities and things like that. Anyway, uh, but I mentioned in the opening that. It's funny, when I, when I tell somebody about the book, I say, they say, Hey, what was your book about? I say about habits, priority management, uh, et cetera. And they go, oh yeah, yeah, I know all that stuff. And that's great. I, you know, building strong habits are great. And then, like I said, when I ask them, it's usually, well, well, I didn't get that started. I didn't do that. Uh, oh, I, I'm meant to do that. I'm gonna start next week. You know, that kind of thing. Oh yeah, I'm definitely one of those. Um, I think that, um, mostly habits are about a, a state of mind and I, I've become very self-aware of what I do and don't do since I've started working with you on, um, the Habit Architect. When you ask guests, oh, what's a habit that you wanna keep? And people are like.

Flor Llosas: 3:44

I dunno. None. And, and I feel that so deeply because it comes to a point where we all have habits and, and sometimes we don't know. Yeah. Like for example, we brush our teeth every day. I hope. And that's a habit for sure. Yes. But it does. Um, as you become older, it becomes so much harder to actually build habits and sustain them. And I'm a big quitter. I, I start a sport, I quit. Like it is really, really, really hard and I actually have no idea why that happens. So I'm really excited to see your insights on

Michael Cupps: 4:24

this. Yeah, absolutely. I think there's, I think there's two, two topics I'd like to talk. There's probably a lot of different reasons why habits don't stick or habits don't get started. Um, and I, I actually think humans are very good at starting new habits. Uh, they just don't. Carry on with it. So it becomes a habit. They start a new thing, but they don't necessarily, and I think there's two distinct areas that I wanna talk about today. One, I, and these are kind of odd words, they're not, they don't roll off the top of your tongue. But finite time blindness is one of 'em. And the other one is temporal discounting.

Flor Llosas: 4:52

Mm-hmm. And

Michael Cupps: 4:52

so, finite time blindness is, is one that I think most of us have, and in a very short explanation of what it is, it's, we think we have more time than we do. And now that can apply to big things like life and can apply to little things like a college student that needs to get a research paper done. And they, and what that finite blind, uh, um, blindness turns into is procrastination sometimes because we think that, you know what, and here's the most, I think this probably is the most common around the world. I'll start that diet on Monday. Right. And, and so what's, what's that mean? Well, that's that, uh, temporal discounting, is that what they're saying is I really want the short term value of what I'm gonna do this weekend. I'll get to that harder thing Monday. Right? And so those two things in combination, thinking we have more time than we do, and then really wanting that short-term gratification more than the pain of getting the long-term gratification. Right. Those, those are the two concepts. What do you think about those? Oh, a hundred percent. A hundred percent. Because, um, and you know, what's the worst part? Like, I do them with things that I don't like doing. Like, for example, I don't know, I, I've scheduled myself that every FRI Friday I have to. Vacuum, for example.

Flor Llosas: 6:08

Yeah. Um, but that's something I don't like to do. I mean, I'm not a huge, so I, sometimes I procrastinate for sure. I'm like, uh, I'll just do it on Saturday, then I have more time. Yeah. Um, but then there's things that I, I procrastinate that I actually like too, and I don't know why that happens. Like reading a book, like writing something. I'm a, I, I like writing, so sometimes just like journaling and stuff. And I procrastinate that too. I don't know. I guess I don't really know how to make that stick either. It's like a part of me says, well, it's a hobby, so it shouldn't, I shouldn't have to be like forcing myself to do it. It should like come to me.

Michael Cupps: 6:48

Yeah. It doesn't come to me. It doesn't. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I wanna talk, I wanna talk about that. I, we're gonna come in the context of an anchor later, but you, you just, you just said the magical thing. Uh, and, and I, I wanna first say, uh, that is that, you know, you wanna do it, but it's a hobby or it's something like that. So what, what you just said is that it's not high enough on your priority list to take over something else. And it's not your fault, by the way. It's not your fault at all. Good. We, we live in a, we live in a society that is so. Endorphin based. Right? And you get that. Those from different things like scrolling, TikTok or Instagram or whatever, LinkedIn, if you're in the business world, whatever, that the, there is a massive amount of things that can distract you from things that you want to do be, and they're designed to do it right. iPhone, apple would like no one to ever look away from their. Their screen, right? That's what they build systems to do, is keep you addicted to that, that device. And, and it happens everywhere, right? And it happens everywhere. Uh, so I think that it's, it's an interesting thing. And that the, the concept of, you always have time later to read that book too, right? I mean, you think, well, you know what? I'm not gonna read now, but I, I'll, you know, Thursday night, I've got a, you know, lone time. I'm gonna do it then. Right. I actually, I actually go between, uh, two extremes for that. Like one of them is I'm young, I'm 30, I have, I can read when I'm old. I can hire a very beautiful woman to read by my bedside, even if I'm blind. It is something we can do, but then on the other hand, sometimes I look at my Good Reads list and I'm like, they are thousands of books. I could never read all these books. That's when I started researching. Um, I don't know if you guys remember Anna, which we had on the show, but, uh, I started researching the headway out because I was like, maybe this is the way that I can read every single book that I want to read because there's not enough time. And then I get freaked out. And that also leads to no reading, and that also leads to scrolling aimlessly on TikTok because it's like lower risk in a way. It's like, well. Whatever, right? Like Yeah. Yeah. And, and our, and our minds trick us a bit to say what you're doing now is easier than changing what we're doing. Right. And that's, that's a challenge. But what you described with your, your books when you said you'll be an old lady and you can read, then that's finite time blindness right there. Right. Because time does move faster than we anticipate. Um, even, and, and I think especially in your age group. And below there is a very common thing that says, I have more time to do this, whatever this is, run the marathon. I wanna do that. I'm gonna, I'll do that when I'm, you know, in, in next year or the next year, and then next year and the next year. And then all of a sudden you're 40. And it's not to say you can't run a marathon at 40. It's just an interesting thing that we delay things because, well, they're either hard or there's other things that are more. Pleasurable for us in, in the short term. Right. So do you think that, um, do you think that like my age bracket, right? Like I'm talking about people my age? Yeah. Do you think that we sometimes we're not aware consciously about this finite time blindness, but maybe subconsciously, and we manifest it in a way because I talk to people my age and they often say sometimes that they wake up in the middle of the night and they feel like they're late for something. They're like, oh my god, like. What am I doing? And they, and they get stuck in this loop of being like, I haven't done anything really. I have all these goals and I haven't done anything and I'm running out of time. But then they only feel that at night or they only feel that in a stream pressure situations or when they're wasted. But we don't really talk about that in our day to day. We're just sitting there like, be, be, be, be, be Beep doing our stuff. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. And that's a bit of the T temporal discounting a bit, because if you think about what you just said there is we all want to accomplish great things and sometimes great. The great thing is defined by what we think it is, whether it's read a thou thousand books or become mayor of your community or what, whatever that big thing is, and. We somewhat idolize that because of our culture. You know, we see it on TV and we, they make movies and TV shows about somebody that was a, you know, an intern and all of a sudden they're a CEO within, you know, 30 minutes of a, of a, of a sitcom or something like that. And so we kind of, we, what, what's not in that is what it takes to get there, right? And so people need to understand that. You can't go to the top of the mountain without taking the first step and the second step and the third step. And you know, so if you're, if you're gonna climb a mountain, you've gotta take every step yourself. I mean, sure you could. If you've got money, you could pay a helicopter to drive you up here, then that's not why you climb a mountain, right? That's not, you know, that's not why you're doing it. So if, if only thing to do it is that, that reward that you can snap a picture up on top of the mountain. Then that's your, your, your goal's wrong, right? Because that, that's a different perspective. But if you want to go climb a mountain, that's your goal. And it just takes every step. And so what you have to do is try to reward yourself based on a value system that's important to you, that every step's gonna help you, and every step matters that you enjoy every step, right? If, if it's drudgery, it's hard to do. And some things in life is drudgery and we have to do it, but college. Exactly. You're vacuuming, right? We just have to do it. But guess what? When a guest comes over, they appreciate that. And you probably appreciate it too, that, you know, they're not saying, Ooh, when was the last time you vacuumed? Right? Yeah. So there is a reward for it, even though it's something we don't wanna do, but it's, it's still, it's still a challenge. And so that's why I want to talk about the anchors in a minute. But do you have any more questions about why we delay things or procrastination or anything? I think that, um, could it be, and I was actually thinking about this yesterday when I was, um, when I was going over what I was going to say today. Um, do you think that maybe when we're sad it's even harder to do these things? Because sometimes yeah, when I'm really sad and when, when I had a really rough day, sometimes I like self-sabotage. I even, I, I go to bed without brushing my teeth. I know it's bad. I sit there in my bed and I'm like mad. I'm like, why didn't I, I hate this. Like, my teeth are gross. I should get up, but I don't want to. It's like, I want to break that habit. It's like I want to, I don't know if that's like, like being sad if it's self-sabotage, if it's habit breaking on purpose. Yeah. Uh. Yeah, there's a little, there's a, there's a, there's a, that's a big topic that we could probably spend the show talking about too, that self-sabotage thing. Uh, because it, it, there's a spectrum there of, of people that have, you know. The mental health issues because they don't ever feel like they're good enough. Right. And that's, that's a different, that's a big problem. And they need to get help with that because they probably are good enough and even better than they think they are. But until they kind of work through that, in their mind, it's, it's really hard. But on a, on a micro level like you were talking about, yeah, I think sadness, uh, is, is there, and that's, that's where I personally think meditation and things like that come into reset. You have to find a way, whatever it is, if it's meditation, go for a walk. You know, sing a song, I, it doesn't matter. You have to find a way to reset where your head space is.

Flor Llosas: 14:12

Mm-hmm.

Michael Cupps: 14:13

Um, and I'm, and I'm, I'm gonna be cautious if it's a mental health issue, get help. But in a, in a simple term for some things, just find a way to reset yourself. For me, um, I, I, I call it meditation, but sometimes it's just sitting out in, in the yard with my dog because things just calm down around me. Right. And I just, and then I can reset and think about what. We're gonna talk about this in a minute. What values are, am I trying to support here and I need to go do these things? And sometimes those things, they're never as bad as they seem, right? Mm-hmm. Uh, they just, you just have to get started on 'em. I don't know if it's a, I don't know if it's a habit. I don't know if I would. Maybe it is. But I have found out that when you're happy, you're happy. And that's, that's that, yeah. It's easier to do things. But when I'm struggling, I find that having a routine and sticking. Do some habits really helps me get outta that head space. Yeah. And onto something different. Is that what you are gonna bring about with the anchoring thing? Yeah. Yeah, a little bit. I'm, I'm gonna talk a little bit more about how, how it anchored, but what, what you're, you're absolutely right and I think, I'm think thankful you said that because sometimes if you just start. Even if you don't want to, you're gonna be so appreciative of yourself, and it can turn, dread, dread into, uh, you know, something wonderful and it's, and it sometimes it's very hard to start right. Put down the phone, whatever it may be. You're, you, you are sacrificing something to do something else. And initially you may not think it's a thing. Um, but I rem I, I just recently. I decided to walk five plus miles a day. Right. That's a long walk. I bet Dylan is very happy. Uh, who's Dylan? Oh, isn't that your dog, Oliver? Oh, but I bet, I bet there is a Dylan. Very happy for me, though. I changed his name. I'm so sorry. No, that's okay. That's okay. It made me laugh because I'm thinking there's a Dylan somewhere that really supports what I'm doing. So if you're Dylan, put some comments in the, in the, in the chat. Um, but what, what, no, I just decided I wanted to walk five miles plus a day and I don't do it all at once. I do. Uh. Oliver and I get about 4,000 steps or so with him and his walk. And then I go for one more. So I'm usually at about 2.73 before 7:00 AM and I love it 'cause it's just my head space time. I'm, it's, it's cooler here in Texas and early, so I just, I like that. And then in the evening, sometimes it's with Catherine, sometimes it's by myself. I just get the rest of it and. The first week, there were times where I'd walk, Oliver come back and I go, oh, I don't wanna go back out. You know, I don't wanna do, you know, and, but I just did. I just said, okay, I'm going to open the door and I'm gonna go and just, what's it gonna hurt? You know? Do you feel better now? Oh my gosh, yes. I love it. I love it and, and I can just feel, I feel, you know, I think it compliments some of the stuff I'm doing and we're gonna have a guest that's, uh, a personal trainer on soon. So it compliments that, you know, it's, it's not, it's not aggressive exercise, but it's, it's, it's about flow and steps and it's just, you know, it just kind of calms me out. And, uh, but do you, do you also feel like when you go right, and you come back and you're like, I did it. How does that feel? Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. I, I feel good for it because then I'm, you know, I'm ready for my day. Whatever's gonna come at me, which is always, life is chaotic for all of us. Right. You know, somebody pulls on, pulls in a car, cut us off, or the. They're outta your favorite thing at a store, whatever. There's always chaos that happens in the day. Uh, work related. There's all, any number of things. So yes, but I, I know that I've set that bound. I mean, I've set that foundation in place that I, I got, I don't know how many I got today. I can look on my phone, but I, I bet I'm at three miles so far this today, and I feel good for doing that. You know, I just feel good about. Myself, it's healthier. You know, I, I talk about movement, meditation and moderation are the three things that we have to focus on. And that checks box number one for me. You know, and that's great. I can always on my habit tracker. Done did it. That's good. Yeah. And it's, and when you go to bed, you're like, even if everything else sucked that day, you're like, well, at least. At least I did this and that's good. Right? Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. We do have to reward ourselves like that. I'm glad you mentioned that. We do have to reward ourselves with the things we do. Uh, so when we talk about habits, some days you just can't do 'em all, and that's okay. Right. That that's okay too. It just, what, what I urge people to do is not just stop completely. Right? If you, if you're, if for me, if it, if it's that walk, if I, if I only walk two miles a day or I'm traveling and I can't walk any. That's okay. Tomorrow I'll do five again. I'm not, I'm not telling myself I have to do 10 tomorrow. I just need to get back on and do five. Right. That's, that's what I wanna do. Uh, and so people do need to not punish themselves out of doing it in, uh, so many people dieting I think is the biggest one, right? They, ugh, you know, I had that cinnamon roll, so everything's blown. I might as well stop that. That's the worst thing you can do. You could say, I had that cinnamon roll. It wasn't, it wasn't the best choice, but I made the choice and I'm gonna live with it and lunch is gonna be better, dinner's gonna be better, whatever, whatever, you know? And I think dieting is, everybody knows it because they try to either get in more greens or fruits, or they're trying to lose weight or they're just whatever. Um, it's one of those, that's one of those real things that just is hard for people to stay on track. And then when they get off track, get back on track. And that's that, that I think is the most important thing. It's okay to get off track. Get back on, you know, get back on the bus. We're, we're head, we're still heading this direction. Let's go. So, so why don't we, why don't we switch and talk a little bit about, um, tell me about the anchors. Yes. So I, I, you know, I was at, uh, the south Texas coast last week and I was walking on the beach a lot. And one morning I was walking, getting my five miles. And I was noticing there were about four families setting up for the day, you know? Um, so they're thinking about their beach day, right? So some of 'em are putting in an umbrella in their chairs, some of, and then, I don't know on the beaches in Argentina, but they, they have these canopies they put up and there's different styles, right? Oh yeah. There's some that's canopy. And then I was watching one guy very meticulously anchoring things. To the, uh, to the sand and, and he was thinking clearly, even though there was no wind at the time, he was thinking, if wind comes, I wanna be prepared. Now there's others that didn't care. They were just putting their chairs up top. Now, the interesting thing about that, what it made me start thinking about is our value system is the anchors, right? And sometimes anchors have a negative connotation. I'm not, I'm not using it that way. It's the thing that holds you in place, right? It's when things start happening. You know, you're, you're grounded in, in a way that it's not gonna go away. So, and I think those things are, are values. Uh, and as you know, in Time Bandit, I teach people how to rethink about their values and tie habits to that. So that's, that's what I wanted to get to. So the anchors, if your values are, are. Are your anchors, then what you think about when you develop a habit, why are you doing that? So reading for you, uh, you know, reading could be that it supports a value of you want to be smarter or you wanna learn new things or what, whatever it is tied to that value needs to be strong enough that you're gonna commit to it. Right? Do they have to be specific values? Like, because. I think that if I say I want to read because I like it or it makes me happy, is that a good enough value or not? Ab? Absolutely. Oh, so what? What you, what the value? First off, your values are your values. They're not anybody else's values, so no one should be able to pass judgment on that, right? They're your values. Now, the interesting thing about I'll, I'll go back to when I'm coaching somebody and I say. You know, what are your values? I always get the same ones. Health, wealth, and family. Right? And those are good values, right? That and they, but they're so broad spectrum, right? Health, what does health mean to everybody? It means something different. What does wealth mean to everybody? It means something different there. And you know, wealth sometimes comes as career. Right. They could just say their career because some, some careers you never, you're never gotta be rich like teaching, unfortunately. I mean, I think they should be, but they're doing teaching for a different reason, not to make money and then, um, a family. Right. And so one of the things that I, I, when I've talked to people and you know, that I, I, I do some volunteering with an addiction, uh, group and so forth. And one of the things that always strikes me is when somebody's, when I ask somebody what's really important to you? And they see my family, and then they get off work and they drive to the bar. And spend an hour and a half at the bar with their, either people they work with or their mates or whatever it may be, and then they go be with their family. So what, what just happened in that transaction? You can't say family is a high value if your, your value spending time at the bar more with your coworkers, right? And I'm not saying that that's the wrong thing to do, but where is your value system? What you're doing is you're putting your coworkers above your family. If that's your value, that's fine, but just be aware that that's what you're doing. And I think that that example points out to. How to make a value actionable. Right. So, and I, by the way, I, I have my values written down. I read 'em every day.

Flor Llosas: 23:17

Oh, I love that.

Michael Cupps: 23:19

I mean, the, the broader category is prioritize family and community, uh, retirement readiness.'cause I'm, I'm up there in age, uh, health and wellness embody, authenticity and champion people-centric work. So those are my key values. But if you can tell, I've written more down in there. Yes.'cause what I've did is I said, how do I make, uh, prioritized family and community actionable? How does, how does it become something that I embody in myself? Right? And so I said, make daily choices that allow quality time and family ensure flexibility to present. Uh, to be present. I'm sorry, for important moments and activities with loved ones. Right? I think that, um, actually when you were talking about the example of the bar, I think that maybe that's. What we're all missing. Like we all have our values, but I think we're all missing that second bit that you just read because maybe that person who, who's Yeah, their value is family, maybe what, maybe they go to the bar and not directly home because maybe in a twisted way, you know how addiction is. Yeah. Um, they think that it's shameful or that their family are better off without them. So they are choosing family in a way. They're saying my family's better off if I'm not there, so I'm choosing to not be there with them. So I suppose that the change there is not a change in value, but more of a change in the action that they do to get to that value. Right. Exactly, exactly. And so what I read there is ensure flexibility to be present in, in the important moments and things like that. So it is sometimes it's not just about shame that they, maybe their family's better off. Sometimes it may be, you know, they may be a young mom or a young dad and they don't know what to do. It's hard. Right. It's hard. And uh, so it's just putting themselves in a more comfortable spot, right? Which is that temporal discounting. Again, I, I get an hour, I can have a drink, I can relax and then I'll go do that hard stuff. And so there's a lot of things in there, but the real thing that we, if we anchor our habits to our values, it gives us more conviction in doing it over and over and over. Right. So my walk five miles is for my health value, right? Because I, I want, it's that retirement readiness, health and wealth kind of stuff. I, I want to be, I don't want to be a retiree that sits in one place all the time. I want to travel, I wanna do things right. Uh, and it's still far, it's still further out there. I'm not retiring soon, but it's, it's still further out there. But the fact that I, I know I wanna be ready for that. I can't do. Short term things today that are gonna compromise that. Right. You've got, you've just gotta, and, and it, and the value, focusing on the value allows you to think a little long term. It allows you to stretch that term. So, so how do you manage, how do you manage that, creating that system without overwhelming yourself? Yeah, because you're talking about retirement and if I think about my retirement. I would cry because I don't know what I'm doing tomorrow. So if I start, if I have to think like five, like I know that I want, like I know that I have some goals for myself, right? Like I, I, I wanna at some point have my own house. It's a, a dream of mine. Yep. Um, but it feels so overwhelming so that I, it's really hard for me to set any sort of. Anchor value to that because it gives me so much anxiety to think about it. Yes. Yeah. So how do you fix that? So I, I think the, the simplest way to fix it is, think of it in increments, right? So in order to buy a house, you have to save money to, you know, do a down payment, what, whatever the mechanism is in your world. And so you can't save all the money today, but you can save a little bit today. And a little bit tomorrow and a little bit. And then over time, you, you actually have a lot, and that's one thing I like about I, I don't know how it works in Argentina, but in the US there's something called a 401k, which is a, a retirement fund that most employers offer that you can contribute to, well, you can contribute 1% or 10% or 20% of your income to that, and it comes outta your check on a biweekly basis or whatever the, the period is. And so if you think about that e if you're young. You really just whatever, just put something in it. It doesn't have to be all of it. You don't have to max it out. I mean, it's good if you can, but you don't have to. And it becomes automatic, and that's what I like about it for. You know, and at least in the US system, it just comes outta their paycheck and you don't think about

Flor Llosas: 27:39

it really.

Michael Cupps: 27:40

Right. And you don't have to think about it.'cause now you can pick investment choices that say I'm 35 and I'm gonna retire. I wanna retire at 65. And they will do the adjusting on the risk assessment. So it, it, it gives, it frees your head space now to not think about that. But you know that you're at least doing something today. And it's a hard thing to get because most people would say, well that 1% I could use to. Do something else. Right. And, um, that's the hard part. So what, with your buying a house thing, I think that's a great example is what, what do you have to do to prepare to buy a house? Well, you have to have, at least in the US you have to have good credit. You have to have a little bit of down payment money. And oh, by the way, understand there's new expenses. So what we, what's in there that might support that, that value of home ownership. It, we need to learn. Yes, we need to. And the more we learn, the better we're gonna be. And so the things we might learn is where and how to save money, where to invest, et cetera. Uh, I wanna learn about what the true cost of a house is. It's not just buying the house. It's insurance, it's things inside the house, it's stuff like that, electricity, payments, all that stuff. So you, you can take a little small increments to get to you, to your goal. It's just not, you know, the, the, the hard thing for us in our society, our immediate gratification society is it's not tomorrow, right? It may be a year, it may be three years, it may be six months. Whatever kind of aggressive nature you wanna apply to it, make sure your habits are supporting that in the timeframe that you want. And then, like, like we talked about earlier, if you miss something, a week of doing something, or a month or whatever, get back on the track as soon as you can. So, and don't beat yourself up about. Right. Because the, the, the one thing I, I have, I struggle with goals. Goals are good, but goals are usually tied to people say, well, you're not motivated enough. And I, I think motivation is an emotion that fa that wanes mo you can't keep motivation up 24 7. You just can't.

Flor Llosas: 29:34

Yes. Right. It's so hard.

Michael Cupps: 29:35

And so I think it's, when we talk about goals and motivation, I think it's already, it's. You're gonna, you're gonna fail, right? You're, you're just gonna fail unless it's a short spurt that you want to try to do. That's why I think we have to put our values out there and, and anchor the things that we need to do to support 'em. We don't have to accomplish that today, which is kind of goal centric. What we have to do is get on the journey and keep going little bits at a time. Do you think that, um, we could. Make it like a little umbrella and be like, okay, well here are our goals. But then underneath that we have to like have our habits and then underneath that we have to like build a routine and with things that we like and rewarding ourselves. And then those can be like the steps, like a little pyramid that will eventually lead us to that big thing so that it doesn't become that daunting. Like I thought to myself like, well maybe if I want to be a homeowner, and I know that right now I can't. Like do it fast enough or well enough where I can't save enough money because whatever reason, and sometimes those things are beyond me. Like the economic situation here is not good enough for me to save right now. Yeah. So I thought to myself, okay, because I become really discouraged, so I thought to myself, well, maybe I can take carpentry lessons and then when I'm a homeowner in 10 years, I'll be able to fix my house. Yes. Um, what would you call that? What is that? I would call that your journey to your value. Right? I, and yes, it's a goal. It's, but I, I do like your pyramid example or your umbrella example because it is that, just realize that there's a routine in your life that supports that, that long term. And so with your, with your goal of a house, um, eventually, you know, you might just buy a piece of land. Then over time you're gonna have the money to build a house or whatever you have on there. And I see a lot of people doing that. Uh, my parents, as a matter of fact, they did a great job of it. They, we grew, I grew up in West Texas on a, on a farm and, and it was in West Texas. My dad loves to fish, so he knew he wanted to be in East Texas. So somewhere along the way he found the piece of land he wanted to be on near a lake in East Texas. And he bought it and then he didn't do anything. Specifically on that property until the time came. And so he saved and got ready, and then eventually when he retired, they, they built a house on that land and they still are there today. Right? So it, it's an interest and it's that, that is a cycle that we need to think about. It's okay to incrementally get there and it's okay not to get there tomorrow. Just don't lose focus on it. If it's really important to you, don't lose focus on it because, uh, it doesn't mean you have to focus 24 hours a day on it. It just means that when you get a dollar. 10 cents goes to your house. Right? That's, that's what you need to, that's how you think about it. There's a great book, uh, flora that you, you may have already read or you haven't yet, and it's a very old book. It's called The Richest Man in Babylon. And

Flor Llosas: 32:23

oh,

Michael Cupps: 32:23

what I like about this book, I read it long ago, I, I made sure my kids have it, uh, had it as well. And what I really like about it is it just talks about that concept. You know, you get a dollar 10 cents always goes and. And just it, it's, it's saved, right? And now the, the, the story, it's, it's a great financial story, but told in a different, it's told in more of a novel format as opposed to, you know, you've gotta save and this is how 4 0 1 ks work and stuff like that, right? It's not, it's a story that talks about how you save, but it's, but that in and of itself is money centric. You can think about that with other things, diet, exercise, et cetera. You don't have to exercise eight hours a day, but if you can find 30 minutes or 20 minutes. Three days a week. Awesome. That's better than you were doing before, right? So that, does that make, does that make sense? It's still, it still has, it still has that health focus, but you're not gonna get healthy tomorrow. You're gonna get on the journey to be healthy forever. Yes. I, I really like that. I, I think that I often forget about that because, um, for people who don't know, I work a lot with marketing and as you said before about social media, it is. Instant gratification and dopamine and whatever. And sometimes you spend so much time in there because that's part of your job that sometimes I just need to like step out of that and maybe read, like, make a little chart, like you said, with the values or with my goals or what my mom does is she made this, she's so cute. She made these cutouts on on a little board and she put like a house in it. Like she just cut it out of a magazine and she put it there. And so when she gets overwhelmed, she just looks at it.

Flor Llosas: 34:03

And she centers herself and she's like, everything I'm doing is for that. Let's not despair, because sometimes, as you were saying, with social media, we despair, it's, we can't help it. Yeah. And, and, and we can, and we can do that thing. You know, people are like, oh, just stay off social media. Just do a clients. I can, this is my job.

Michael Cupps: 34:24

Yeah, exactly. And, and you know, you remember we talked to binge a couple weeks ago or whenever, and it was about meetings, useless meetings. Basically, and that's the same thing that you just talked about. If you're a marketer, you need to be in social media because you're learning, you're seeing other examples. You're seeing good and bad things that you wanna do for your clients, et cetera. So you have to be there. Same thing with meetings. I think people think they have to accept every meeting because. They feel like that's the culture they have to do and think about the time they're wasting in meetings they don't need to be in, or meetings that don't even need to be planned at all. And the same thing happens, right? But they feel like, well, it's a meeting. I'm working, it's during working hours. Okay, I'm, I'm working well, are you working? Or are you just sitting there listening to other people Babylon about things? Right? And so it's the same thing I I, and what we have to do is find the conviction in ourselves to say that this is my job. And in order to get the best out of that opportunity, I don't need to be sitting on 10 calls a day. I need to be on two calls a day and doing this other thing then, and the same thing with your saving. The same thing with your social media. You start turning that social media time into something else, which is. Evaluating what you, how you want to advise your clients to do something different, right? Or do something better. Uh, learn from others, that kind of thing. And so now if you go into desk scrolling and you're there for three hours watching TikTok, after TikTok, then you've, you've gone off track, right? And so that's where your habit system and value system comes back. And you, if you, if you did that, okay, you did it, you can't get that time back, so now let's do something else, right? That's where the time banded app would be like. Don't. Yeah, I, I, I love the concept of habit tracking, and that's why we put it in Time Bandit. Uh, and Catherine, uh, my partner, she loves it too. She, uh, she doesn't use the other functions. So Time Bandit also has this notion of attaching a habit to either a personal perspective, business perspective, or aspirational. I think you should have a balance of each of those, right? You should. Oh, then there this, that's where I'm gonna put the house. Yes, exactly. Exactly. So there's, you should have habits supporting all three of those major categories in your life. Because if we're all about business. We see how that breaks people, right? If you, if you not, if you're not trying to do something else, a dream, an aspirational, whether it's to learn to play the violin, buy a house, whatever, then you're gonna get pretty bored with yourself, right? And there aspirations have changed with generations. I see people, I have a sister who's, uh, 20, and when you ask her, I bet that if you ask her what her um, values are, she's not gonna say career, and she's not gonna say wealth. She's not gonna say either of those things. Yeah. That's just not something Gen Z is looking for right now. Yep. But they do need to build habits to reach their other values because Absolutely. They feel even more unreachable in a culture that only rewards. Uh, wealth and career. Yeah, yeah. No, you're absolutely right. The, and that's why I said earlier that our, that your values are your values, right? They can't, you can't, you shouldn't pick a value because everybody else is doing it. Right? Uh, and, and then now you could. Choose habits because other people are doing it because it supports one of your values. Uh, health is a good one, right? So you, when you decide that you are gonna be healthier to your body and you're gonna make this body last a long time, then you have to go find the habit that suits you to support that. It could be running, it could be walking, it could be lifting weights, it could be swimming, whatever. That's where you start saying, okay, now we got find similar interests, and this is where your community piece can come into it, right? Because you need to. The more you can find accountability partners, whether it's a time, time banded app, or your sister, or your friend, or even somebody you don't know, but you see them every Monday because you do a class and you know that accountability becomes very powerful with habit, uh, stacking and habit building towards your, your values, right? So. Yes. Because doing it, doing it alone sucks sometimes. Yes. Right? Yes. I love that. I think that's why, uh, running teams are so, uh, popular, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. Yeah. That, that community aspect of it really does make a difference. So I, I mean, the lesson here for me is the anchors are things that make it really important to do for you, right? And so that's your values and make sure that your values are actionable, right? It's not just. Family as a value. Yes, that's a value, but what does it mean to you? What's important to you about family? Is it more time? Is it experiences? You want to take 'em, you know, to see new places? It what, what is it about family? And sometimes it may be just, uh, you know, your family's getting older and you just wanna spend more time with them. That's okay. It doesn't have to be prescriptive, but make sure that you understand the value. Opens up your opportunity to develop your habit system around that. Right. Don't, your, your habits should never contradict what you want your values to represent in yourself. Right? So it should be like, so the value, the value as a noun, right? Mm-hmm. And then, and then the habit, or like the sub value or the, as an action as a verb.

Flor Llosas: 39:30

Mm-hmm. Would that work? Like, yeah. I have my value. It's like I want to read more. Yeah. Why? Because it brings me happiness. It brings me peace of mind. Yeah. How, how do I do that? How do I do that?

Michael Cupps: 39:42

15 minutes a morning, 10 minutes at night, whatever. Um, I mean that's, that's, I mean, there, there's so many opportunities now for that particular habit. I think maybe you decide that sometimes listening to a book is better, you know, because you have to vacuum. So you put on a book and you listen while you vacuum or so that now, but, but it's, that's exactly, I like the way you said it. Noun and the verb. And, and the, with with the noun though, make sure that you say why. Right. You like to read and you said it because it makes you smarter. I forget exactly what you said, but so that, that was the value, not just reading more. It was reading because it makes me feel this way. Right.

Flor Llosas: 40:21

Okay. And

Michael Cupps: 40:21

so now, now that you have that, it's, it's makes me feel this way and I wanna feel this way more. In order to accomplish that, you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna read a book. I'm gonna read 30 minutes on Tuesdays and Thursday, or what, whatever mechanism you need, 10 minutes a day, 30 minutes, once a week, whatever it does. Don't judge yourself by quantity. Judge yourself by execution of it, right? That says, okay, and I have a final question for you. What if I do, like, what if I said that. That's, I download the time banded app. I put that in reading more because it makes me, it gives me a clearheaded or whatever, and I put the 15 minutes and then I read the 15 minutes and I'm like. Well, that wasn't that. I don't feel that good. Like I feel good, but I, I don't know if I wanna do this again tomorrow. I think that scrolling through TikTok gives me more dopamine. Yep. Yep. What do I do then? Yeah, so I think one you have to evaluate is reading really. What you value, okay? And if it is, and it probably is, if you, if you decided that you, you didn't say TikTok is your value. You said reading is a value. And so what I would encourage you to do is find a different setting to do it right? So something about the time of day you chose the, the, the what, whatever was setting you off a little bit. So find a better place. In, in your week to do that habit, right? Because it, it, you know, in that scenario, maybe it just wasn't time to appropriate. Maybe you just got back from work and you're stressed and opening the book is just hard because you're thinking, ah, you know what? Michael said something to me I didn't like, and you, you're just losing. So maybe reading at the early part of the day or Sunday afternoon, whatever, just find, maybe you just have to adjust that, but don't give up on it. Right. Don't give up on it. And maybe if you say tiktoks important to you too, then maybe you make a 30 minute time every day where you do 15 minutes of reading and 15 minutes of TikTok, right? So that there's other ways to do that. But just think about making, making sure you're in a place that is gonna be successful too. If that's a, if that's, if it's a value to you, you, you'd need to try different ways of doing it. Right. So for me, like my walking thing, I'm not gonna go run five miles a day. Right? Uh, it's just not what I want to do. If I, if I told myself I'm gonna run five miles a day, I would quit pretty early 'cause it's not what I wanna do. Walking five miles a day is different 'cause I get to do it with my dog or whatever. Right? So it just, it, it. It has to suit you as well. But don't give up too quick. Maybe if that first 15 minute day didn't work, then figure out something else. Okay? You know, and I, I'd strongly agree. One of the things I talk about in time ban from priority management's perspective is have a weekly check-in. What worked, what didn't work, what am I gonna change this week, right? And simple. Those, those simple questions there. What worked, what didn't work, and what am I gonna do this week? I really like that. And you can, you can adjust and some things, some things we start, we don't want to keep doing.'cause we didn't like it. Right. It wasn't for us. Right. So, um, for me eating kale is not gonna happen 'cause I just don't like it. So

Flor Llosas: 43:20

I, kale, it's gross. Yeah.

Michael Cupps: 43:22

So, so you find something else. Don't just give up, find something else that's a healthier option. Right. So, okay. I like that. Actually, you know what? Now that since we're here and, um. People are gonna be seeing this. I'm gonna, I'm gonna put something out there. A challenge for us to do. Yeah. And is that if you, if you want to be me and sit here and tell CS how to fix your life, please let us know in the comments. And then maybe we'll pick you to be, to have your cups fix your life and you can set a goal and he can help you. Because I think that a lot of people my age would really benefit from being in, in this seat. And being like, please, cups, the lord of habits. Help us. Help us. But how do we do this? Maybe people would actually, um, benefit from that. I think that What would you, what do you think, do you think it's a good idea for us to invite people? That, that is the most fun I could have is helping somebody? I, I can't say that I'll fix your life, but I will absolutely have a conversation with you about what will make it better. How to start. I think that's the key, is how to start. And, and I, I just would say that don't pick a value because everybody else is picking it. Don't pick a habit because everybody else is picking it. Pick what's right for you because that's what's gonna make you, you over time is doing that. And so, uh, I did wanna say is as we wrap up here, one exercise I'd like people to do is if, uh, if think about your values and, and just list three. Two or three, you know, don't, don't overdo it, just two or three and then go to Habit B, which is our AI coach. You can do it on ban time bandit.io or if you have the app, you can get navigate to it there and then type in that value and ask habit B to help you work out how, how to make that actionable. Uh, we've trained the model to try to do that. Help you now can't, can't pitch perfe perfection, but it's kind of fun to talk to it and just say, here's a value. I wanna spend more time with family. Can you help me sort through how to make that happen and what habits would support that? And it will come back with suggestions. It's not gonna tell you how to do it, but it's just suggestions to do. And I think that that, just talking to somebody about it, even if it's an AI coach, it will help you with clarity and it'll show, it'll identify things that will support your value, and then you choose if that's an activity that's right for you. But it's still an interesting exercise to go through. I love that. And by the way, in the training that I do, the, the, you know, you and I have talked about the bundle before the training. It goes into three categories. Well, there's four modules, but the three categories are value, hierarchy of values, helping you define hierarchy of values, making 'em actionable. The second is how to build habits or how to structure habits to support those values. And the third is priority management, which is when all hell breaks loose, what do you do? You know? Mm-hmm. So, uh, that's, that's the kind of, that's the, that's what the, what's in the training. So I didn't necessarily mean to pitch it. It's out there. Go get it. Go get it. Because it's good and you need it. Uh, yes. I would love to do a session or two with, with uh, people we don't know and we let's talk about it. That'd be great. Thank you for joining me today. Oh yeah. This was fun. I love yapping. I love talking. So it was nice. I hope you'll be back on more. I, I know that our guests love talking with you and coordinating with you.'cause I saw one last night, junior, who's gonna be on our show soon. He said, I, I'm, I'm, I'm connected. I'm gonna do it. So,

Flor Llosas: 46:42

yay. Amazing.

Michael Cupps: 46:44

So, so anyway that we kind of wrapped up. I just want to, any questions to finish up? Um, I have a million, but I'm gonna say them to you off camera because otherwise we're gonna go another hour. Yes. But now that I know that I have you and the AI coach and the Time Bandit, um, app, there's so many resources that. You have available. And, and even some of them are free, which blows my mind because I'm like, if only I can get people to notice this, um, because these are really life fixing. Uh, I know you laugh and you're like, I can't fix your life. But these are excellent tools to help us fix our lives, and I just think they're excellent resources. And I, and I really love the message that you bring with these, and I, I just really hope that I can get to, um. Have people know them and, and, you know, get the bundle. Not only because we, I want cups to succeed, but because it's good. It is good. It's a good thing. It's an amazing product. And, uh, it's, it's, and it goes back to the start point about. You know, the, the reality is people know they wanna do better and they, they talk about, you know, habits and things that they want to do. Uh, it's just putting it into action and consistency and, and, and it don't, people shouldn't beat themselves up. Just get on the road, take the next step on that, climb that mountain one step at a time kind of thing. You just gotta, you just gotta get started. And, and it's okay. I mean, I just think people underestimate what it takes to do certain things and they get hyper. Digital stuff coming at 'em that it sees, you know, life's just not easy, but you can certainly enjoy it along the way, so I love that. Yes. I think the wrap would be, don't quit. Try again. Try, try again. Yeah. Yeah. That's it. Well, thank you everybody. Uh, tune in next time. Do pack, make comments 'cause we wanna make the show better. Um, be sure to go to Spotify, apple, wherever you get your podcast and follow and like us and Florencia will see you very soon. Thank you.