THA S02 EP#21 - Why Your Resolutions Fail and How to Change It

Quitting isn’t the problem, building habits on the wrong setup is. By mid-January, most resolutions collapse not because people are lazy, but because they picked habits that don’t fit their environment, schedule, or identity.

In this episode of The Habit Architect, host Michael Cupps is joined by returning guest co-host Flor (calling in from Argentina) to break down “Quitter’s Day” the point in January where a huge percentage of people abandon their New Year goals. They explore how the same resolution can fail for totally different reasons depending on your context (like trying to start outdoor running in extreme heat or cold), and why the real issue is usually space, both the physical space around you and the mental space inside your head. 

Michael explains how values-based habit design creates staying power: when you define what “health” actually means for you (not a vague slogan), the daily choices get easier to prioritize. Flor adds a sharp point about instant-gratification culture, how people treat habits like disposable products, and why habit tools like vision boards often fail when they’re only used in January and ignored the rest of the year. 

They also get very practical: start smaller than you think you should, reduce friction (like choosing a gym that isn’t 30 minutes away), and use cues that make the habit automatic, like putting your walking shoes by the door, or stacking a new routine right before an old one you never miss (washing your face before brushing your teeth). The episode closes with a reminder: if you quit, you’re not “behind” you can restart, revise the habit, or swap it for something that fits your life better.

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Transcript

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Hello, and welcome to the Habit Architect. I'm Michael KPPs. I'm your host today. I'm, and I'm gonna have flora, who have you seen before is our guest host, and we're just gonna talk about really Quitter's Day. And so if you're not familiar with what Quitter's Day is, it's the second Friday, I believe is what most people call it. Where. The resolutions that we all get so excited about and we make on January 1st and we get started with that new workout regimen or stop smoking or changing, something in our behaviors. And by the second week. There's something like 84% of people actually stop that resolution or that habit that they were trying to build. And I wanna talk a little bit about why that is. It's not that they didn't really want to be successful at it, but maybe it's how they planned it. Maybe it's how they made space for it. Maybe it was the environment that they were in that they. Set themselves up for failure. Or maybe they just found out they didn't like the habit. Sometimes if you say you're gonna be a runner and you start running and you realize you don't like it maybe it's time to change to being a rower or a walker or whatever it may be. There's a lot of reasons why Quitters Day is the most successful day of the year as it relates to habits. And I say successful, I mean that it's the negative of that, which is everybody quits. So if you want some help with tracking your habits go to time bandit.io. You can find the link to the mobile app. It's on Google, it's on Apple. You can download the app and get started tracking your habits as well as priorities. You can also find links to our training and other aspects of time, bandit. So really excited about that. And I'm gonna bring Flora on if she is ready to go. She had some incidents today with her building, so she had to get closer to a new wifi. Flora, are you, there you go. How are you? Flor: Hi. Yeah, are, yeah, I was catching my breath. It's really hot here. And just the city and life, I don't know what to tell you. Michael Cupps: Yeah. And for those who don't know, floors in Argentina. So Flor: yes, I'm in Argentina. I was

actually thinking a lot about, 'cause obviously our flow is Cubs tells me like, Hey, you know that this existed. And I go, no. And then I look into it and then that's how I get informed about most things. And when Cubs told me about Quitter's Day, I was like, I wonder how that relates because it's very universal, right? Michael Cupps: Yeah. Yeah. Flor: 2:23

I was wondering like how that also relates. With different hemispheres because for example, like people there, like the biggest resolution for New Year is go to the gym more, right? Like the, stereotype. But then we also say that here and we have different excuses for that. So I don't know what you guys, what your excuse is for not going to the gym. But ours is it's too hot. I'm gonna faint. Michael Cupps: No. Okay. Flor: So what do you guys say? Like, why do you guys quit the gym? Michael Cupps: I would say in Texas that you could use the same excuse. It's too hot, except not this time of year. It's too cold, maybe. It's you're right. Health, it seems to be the predominant resolution. And health can take a couple of things. It could be dry January, it could be go to the gyms and 'cause gyms themselves know that's. Because they ramp up advertising in November and December because they know they're gonna get new subscribers into the gym. And then by the end of January there's, there, it's back to normal, right? Or back to the number of people that was there before. Hopefully they didn't sign long-term contracts. But yeah, I think health is the number one. And the other indicator of health is I walked into Costco. I guess it was like right after the new year, and I don't know if you have Costco, but it's a big box kind of. Flor: I know Costco, we don't have it, but I know it. Michael Cupps: Okay. Okay. And they when you walk in, you give 'em your card and they let you go in and the entire wall as you on the entrance was vitamins. Vitamins and supplements and things like that. Just different, vitamin C, vitamin B, all the kind of protein powders, all of that stuff was along that front wall. So everybody that walked into Costco, that's what you saw the first thing. Flor: And you can just purchase it without prescription or

anything? Michael Cupps: Yeah, these are just over the counter vitamins, multivitamins, vitamin C stuff like that. And protein research. So Flor: 4:23

we have I like that. Especially the US I would say has this like culture of saying you should take a lot of vitamins, like I see on TikTok all the time. Like women's, like morning routine is like taking this different vitamin stuff, like mushrooms, whatever, like all that good stuff. But then also to be more healthy. But then also if you take advantage of something like the GLP that we had Chris last week, talk about them. That's like cheating. Orsak vitamins is not cheating. Michael Cupps: Yeah, Flor: it's hard to follow the rules of health. Really. Michael Cupps: Yeah. Yeah, you're right there. I don't know where the FDA, which is the US regulatory body covers, when is it a supplement versus a medication? I have no idea where that line crosses. And then, you do get on those vitamin boxes. I don't think I have one here, but it's what it says it's not FDA approved so.

I don't know what that means either. So I guess you could just market a tablet that has vitamin C in it and call it a health thing. But it is an interesting, that whole supplement WI world is interesting. I take the same, I don't take a multivitamin. I take vitamin D three. And I take an Omega-3, which is fish oil, basically. Flor: Sure. Yeah. Michael Cupps: 5:23

And then I think of vitamin C with zinc particularly in the winter because it helps, just your immune system. And I've taken those for, I took those through. That's the only thing I took through COVID. And I'm not, I didn't get COVID. I'm not saying it's because of those supplements but it certainly made me think that I should keep going. So how about you? Do you take any supplements? Flor: I don't take any supplements only because it's too expensive. I don't have the budget for it. But I should definitely take like Aaron. Because for women, especially when they're on your period and stuff. But I do have to say that during the pandemic there was like this couple of months when we weren't allowed to go out right at all here in Aina. I know it was different in

the US but here, like you weren't allowed to go out. There was like officers on the street you can't go out, please go back home. Michael Cupps: Yeah. Flor: And I had this problem in my ovaries. It like, because of the lack of movement, it built up clots. Michael Cupps: Yeah. Flor: So I had to go to the gynecologist for her to like surgically remove them because because of the lack of movement. Michael Cupps: Yeah. Flor: 6:23

So it's like crazy how. The, again, the standards of health, right? It's okay to say, oh, you, you have to go to the gym or whatever go to the gym, get fit, whatever the glow up. It's always about the gym. But then sometimes we go so far on the other direction that we forget that just simple movement. Michael Cupps: Yeah, Flor: because it didn't happen to all women, so clearly it wasn't a thing like, oh, it's because I'm not going to the gym because of the pandemic. No, my mom was doing at home Pilates. And that's health. I wasn't doing it. Michael Cupps: Yeah. And that's a, I think that's a good segue. Segue. And one of the things I wanted to talk about is let's call it your environment or your space, right? And I think that is, I think there's two sides of space, let me just use that word. That causes people to have to fall victim to quitter's day. The first is in your head, right? So the space in your head, you need to clear out to make sure that you, that you're prepared to take on what habit you wanna start, right? So if you decide that you want to be a runner in Argentina for New Year's Day, and it's a, and it's very hot outside, then you've gotta that may be the reason you quit because you didn't prepare yourself for that environmental sake. And same could be said and many other ways. You're not just building, you're not putting yourself in a position to succeed because of the environmental factors. You're in, right? If it's heat or hot or it's the same thing would apply to somebody that lives in Boston in. In January, if they decided they wanted to create a hobby outside, they're probably gonna fail because it's gonna be too cold. It's gonna be, it's gonna be repetitive and they're gonna, they might make it one or two times and they, they bought the gloves and the ear muffs or whatever. But then it's just, it becomes a hassle. So you're setting yourself up to fail if you. Think ahead of time and say, okay, do I have the space to do this habit in a good way? Even if it's meditation, right? Do, are you able to find a quiet spot that you can sit and do what you need to do? Or is are you setting yourself up to fail? So I think people don't always take into consideration the space thing. Another one that might be true for people that join a gym is they join a gym that's too far away. So it becomes a hassle, right? The first week, yeah you're going, you're motivated as motivation wanes, you're like, oh gosh, it's gonna take me 20 minutes to get over there, and then 20 minutes back and, ah, that, and then they find themselves. Easing out of it because of inconvenience. And I think we have to think about that when we, now resolutions are a little different because we just some people just say, oh, it's the new year. I'll try something new. And there's no, no consequences. But if, even if you're thinking about any type of habit change, lifestyle change, you gotta make sure it matches your lifestyle. If it's so counter to it,

you've gotta be prepared to handle that counter. Flor: And we have talked about this. Yes. In this podcast, both of us. Michael Cupps: 9:23

And I think that goes mentally too. So I mentioned the physical around you, but if you're not mentally prepared to do whatever it is that you want to do, let's say you're starting a new strength training, you know you're gonna be sore. And if that's gonna stop you from going the next time, then you've picked a habit that's you're just not mentally prepared to do right. That's one of the interesting things I think about habits is. We're not really thinking about the habit, we're thinking about what do we want the outcome to be? So they, the reason you join the gym is 'cause they wanna lose weight or they wanna look better or they wanna get stronger, but they don't think of all the things that go into that. You don't get strong from going one time. Yeah. You gotta go consistent. I don't know. Flor: But then this is this is very much tied to, I think this is something you've mentioned before. Maybe we just talked about it, just us. But this culture of instant gratification. So it's even harder to build habits when everything around you is oh, use one time and discard. And we do the same with our habits. So then it's I go to the gym one time and I discard the same I do with a Kleenex, the same I do with my clothes. The same. I, so then my whole life becomes this. I use, once I discard, I use once I discard. And we, and I've seen it being done with jobs, with relationships, not just habits, not just hobbies. So then really at the end of the day, for me, doing the the values worksheet that we talked about in one of the episodes. Here was like, it even en encompassed more than just oh, go into the gym. It became something more like how I build my job, how I build my time, how I build my routine. Because then you, like you, you go into you start shifting your whole way of looking at things, right? Everything becomes a little bit more permanent when you start building whichever habit you want to do. Michael Cupps: Yeah. Yeah, you're right. And I think I was supposed to send you the values

workshop and you were gonna we'll put it on the chat after we're done here, so Flor: Yes. I won't put on a blog. Yeah. And Michael Cupps: you Flor: can send it. Michael Cupps: 11:23

Oh, that's right. Okay. But yeah, the values work, the val values in general, we've, we have talked about it, but I think it's worth visiting again because what. What happens on Twitter say as well, is they're not as, they don't have as much conviction to that because they haven't internalized how important that thing is, right? So if getting healthy is the most important thing then, or one of your four values, five values, whatever it is, then you are going to remember that, right? And it's, and that means, what that means is that fitness habit that you're creating takes a priority over. Watching something on Netflix or whatever, it's just, and that's those, that value exercise is really important. I love doing it too because, and we've talked about it before, so I don't wanna repeat too much, but what, what happens when you ask somebody, what's your values? They'll say, family making money or wealth, and then my health and then you say, okay, what does health mean to you? Oh, I just wanna be healthy. Okay. What does that mean? Healthier than you are today. Healthier, healthy, like something else, or you wanna be and you'd start drilling down into that. And then you say, okay, knowing that you wanna be this level of healthy that you've defined for yourself. What do you have to do that? Be there on a daily basis and build it into your daily routine. Does that mean get up early? Oh, I'm not a morning person. Okay, then let's plan on working out in the evenings. How can we clear the environment to make sure you can do that? Is it an in-home exercise that you're doing, like you were talking about with your mom and Pilates, or is it you need a gym or you need something else Flor: and also health can mean something not physical. It can be eating different, it can be mental health, as you said about meditation. 'Cause what what my therapist was telling me was that she was like, if you want to be healthier and it's too hot right now to do physical activity, you can do yoga, you can do meditation. And then when it gets, I don't know, March comes around and it's not as hot, then you can start going to the gym. It's not like a, as you said, health is many things. So really. What

really you want, right? Like you Michael Cupps: 13:23

absolutely. I, yeah, you're right. You're right. And just being healthier might be the step for tomorrow, right? Maybe not having a certain meal that you know is unhealthy for you or eating too late, or whatever it is that you have in your routine. Just taking that away makes you healthier. And that's good. You should reward yourself for like that when you, even if it's for the next two weeks, I'm not eating out or whatever it may be. And then. You're healthier at the end of two weeks. Now. Are you healthy then? Maybe not. But it gives you, it should give you the motivation to keep going. And I like that idea what your therapist said. Let's start with yoga. And then, when March comes around, you can try something more adventurous if that's what you wanna do. Flor: Yes. And then the other thing that that I really love that you mentioned, i'm doing I'm doing all the shoutouts to everything you've done before. So anyone who is just arriving, you're gonna have a lot of homework for afterwards. But there was CS did a webinar with orderly meds and there was this one girl who asked, who said it's really

hard for me to just take a walk. And c said, and I remember this distinctly because I do this, he was like, put your walking shoots on the door. Michael Cupps: Yeah. Flor: So then next time you have to go out the door, take the trash, he'll just walk around the block. Michael Cupps: Yeah. Flor: 14:23

Which just come naturally to you. And that has changed my life. Like he has my life. Oh yeah. Like I put everything, I do little things like for example, if I know that. If I come home right and I'm exhausted, but I know that I want to take a little walk or I know that I want to take my I walk my cat outside, so if I know that I wanna take my cat out on a walk, I just won't take my shoes off. Michael Cupps: Yeah. Flor: If I don't take my shoes off, then it's like my brain is wired. Oh, if, oh, it's because you have to go out. If I take my shoes off, like it's done. Michael Cupps: Yeah. Flor: Like I won't go out anymore. But if Michael Cupps: I don't. Yeah, that that little cue is powerful and it's absolutely powerful. Whatever that cue is it can over time it becomes your way of

mentally just doing it automatically. Flor: Yeah. Michael Cupps: And if you think about in the US we have the Super Bowl coming up in Flor: Oh yeah. Michael Cupps: Three or four, three or four weeks, and Flor: I'm so excited for the advertisements. Michael Cupps: 15:23

Yes. That, if you look at the advertising in that, or even leading up to it. Pizza and buffalo wings or in the us I don't know what it is like in, in Argentina, but in the US pizza is advertising Get your order in for the big game, right? So they're associating that, that game and that TV watching with order more pizza and order more wings and none dah. And it, it's everywhere. And advertisers know this cube behavior very well. And so it's there. And so it, it's powerful and it can work now. You've gotta figure out what queue works for you for whatever it is that you're trying to do. But it's a powerful mechanism, I think. And if you can, and if you're trying to break a habit, the queue might be putting something in a way, so walking may be putting your shoes near the door, but if you're trying to stop something, maybe prevent that some way. And most people say they throw out all their sweets or whatever, but there's other ways of blocking it, right?

If you're in a, if you've got a family that may enjoy that, you have to figure out a way to discourage yourself. There you go. That's not your cat, is it? Flor: Oh, Michael Cupps: that I thought just, oh, okay. Flor: Yeah. That's not Michael Cupps: goodbye. Flor: Yeah. Yeah. Now you have to show Oliver. Just kidding. Michael Cupps: Nice nosing. He's asleep. Flor: 16:23

Yeah. The thing about stopping, I feel like in this end, I'm, I might be wrong because you are the wizard of habits, but I find that breaking a habit is like a million times harder than building a new habit. Michael Cupps: It is. It is. Flor: It's crazy. Like I have this bad habit that I'm trying to break this year of I don't have dinner like because it's culturally here you have dinner at 9 30, 10 at night. Yeah. And by that time, I'm too tired to cook anything, so I just have a big nda, which is like a snack, like at five or whatever. And it's usually potato chips, coffee it's like a second breakfast in the afternoon. Yeah. Yeah. I just don't have dinner. I like straight, brush my teeth, go to bed. Yeah. And it's bad for my health. I should be having dinner and my, and every single dietician has told me whatever, like everyone has told me. But breaking that habit is is so hard. It's so much harder than anything. I've gone to lengths that are just plain ridiculous. I like taking food like and made it into smoothies, so it's easier for me. So it's okay, I'm just drinking something instead of actually like cooking and consuming and then washing the dishes. I've ordered takeout because then I don't have to do the dishes, but it always ends. It's like I have to put so much effort into doing that, and it's breaking a habit. It's not even like that. I'm building something new. Michael Cupps: Yeah, ha habits that we form over time, especially, it creates a neural pathway in your brain. That neural pathway gets created. And what I mean by that is it knows that when something happens that queue again, it will fire a synod that it knows it's gonna get dopamine from that, right? So that neural pathway starts to create. And even for, what we have with people in their phones, right? That it's a neuro pathway. Now, when they have their phone in their hand, they're gonna look and start scrolling or whatever. And that what, in order to break that, you have to break that neural pathway and form a new neuro pathway, right? That says. Instead of the phone, I'm gonna go outside and get fresh air, walk around or whatever. And it takes a while. It's hard to do because your brain, you've trained your brain to really rely on that, that response that it gets. And it's not impossible, but it, you're right. I think breaking a habit is much harder than building a new one. Because it, especially habits that we've started long, long time ago, we've got decades of doing. Yeah. The same thing and our bodies just became to a point. It, it can also be pretty rewarding when you do stop something that you've, that you didn't like, that you were doing because, Flor: oh, I imagine there the feeling of quitting, like smoking, I don't, I'm not a smoker, but if someone like

has gone through that and then they quit smoking, it must be like a crazy, insane feeling of like just, I don't know, euphoria, but at the same time, melancholy and then just so many things at the same time. Like a whole rollercoaster of, Michael Cupps: 19:23

That I help out with smart recovery on weekends and I hear it over, and it's primarily alcohol addiction, but sometimes it's other addictions to processes, to other circumstances. Things like that. But the. The for somebody that's drinking and I would guess smoking. I've never smoked either, but the fact that you're pushing those chemicals into your body at the pace at which some people do push those chemicals into their body, when they stop it, there's a period of time, and I think it for alcohol, it's about 30 days where your brain is just still figuring, trying to figure out how to operate without it. And then, but after that 30 days, there's this clarity that comes, you start actually. Feeling feelings again. Things that you wouldn't feel before. Maybe that's why you were drinking, maybe not. But if you were trying to get rid of those feelings, now you're gonna start feeling that. And it's an interesting problem to have because now you're feeling feelings that you should have been feeling before and that you've got a choice to make. Do you want to continue to feel those feelings play through them, right? Figure out, what, why you're filling that and can you change that? And there's a whole world of things, but. Once you get past that kind of unusualness, you can act, you can actually be a superpower in my opinion. Because now you've conquered two things, right? You stopped that habit that you're doing and you learn to deal with life in a way that was an with a different view. And if you can get through it that way, it just, you can, it can make you very empowered to, to do more. Flor: Yeah. Michael Cupps: Yeah. And you see it, even in I think Anthony Hopkins, it's the guy that was Hannibal Lecter in that show. I forget the name of Silence of the Lambs. I think he, he's got some great stuff, if you ever wanna read it, about when he quit drinking and what the difference it made for him in his life. Just other things that became so important to him when he stopped that one thing. And there's stories like that, and Flor:

yeah. And you don't even have to find someone who's famous. I don't know. Like I, I have a friend of mine who. Needed to get drunk at parties in order to like flirt with girls. 'cause he was so insecure. And at one point he was like, I hate it because the next day I feel terrible. Like hangover and stuff. Like my stomach is in knot. And then one day he was like, he replaced that for acting classes. Michael Cupps: Oh, wow. Flor: 21:23

And then that gave him the being on stage and stuff, gave him the confidence to then go into the club and being able to do that because he's it's not worth them performing in front of strangers. It's I'm performing in front of strangers anyway. And so he didn't have to rely on alcohol anymore. And it's like crazy because it's replacing a habit. Michael Cupps: Yeah. Flor: Replacing a habit of drinking. Yeah. For the habit of going to the. And it's and you know what the thing is I never thought about that in a habit building sense until I started talking with you. Michael Cupps: Yeah. Yeah. That's a great story though. It's, and it's, when we talked about breaking habits, I

think we've done a session on that. One of the, one of the best ways to make sure you do that is you replace it with something different, and hopefully something healthy. For him it was drinking and he went completely the other way, staying sober and getting, acting classes. And then, so does he still do it? Does he, did he. Is he still taking Flor: classes Michael Cupps: or is Flor: 22:23

Yeah, he's still ta sporadically now. Yeah, that, but yeah. Yeah. He does it for he has this whole group, they go to different places. Like he also made like a really nice group of friends. We don't, I don't see him as much because he goes around with that group of friend more, but he seems. He seems happier, like more at peace with himself. I think he was just like embarrassed of what other people would say and here he doesn't feel bad. Michael Cupps: Yeah, Flor: it's nice. Yeah, it's, Michael Cupps: no, I think that's a great example of changing that neuro pathway too, I think. I love that. I love that example. Great nap. I don't know if we're off topic or not. I think we're doing good here, but the breaking the habit thing I'd have to post the worksheet again, but rename, naming it something is very good. If you're trying to break a habit too give

it a name, give it a persona, and hopefully a persona you don't like. If you're trying to break, have it, because then it puts, it does, putting a persona on it will help. That's one thing. Replacing it with another, which your friend just did or did previously. I think those are two just simple things you can do to try to look look, make that headspace different. I see the kitty cat again. Flor: Oh. Yeah. Michael Cupps: 23:23

So the for building new habits, it's hard to. To give it a persona of a evil, but you could give it a name. You could give it the new you somehow that if you continue to do this, the other thing you have to do is put realistic expectations on it, because I think a lot of people think that. Like we talked about, just eating spinach today isn't gonna make you healthy. Maybe if it replaced something bad, et cetera, over time it will, or working out is a good example. It just doesn't happen overnight. So you also have to put a reasonable expectation on it, right? So how, if I'm gonna change this part of my life. How long do I think it's gonna take or where in the journey am I gonna reward myself for making it here and making it here, and then making it here? I think that people don't do that. A lot of times they think I'm gonna be healthier. Okay. That's really hard to define. And so what, like in your example earlier, it's too hot to go out for a run. So I'm gonna do, you're gonna do yoga for two months and you're gonna become really good at yoga and you're gonna do it three times a week or four times a week, what, whatever your frequency is. And then in two months you've got yourself a celebration, right? You did two months of yoga and you can decide that, hey, I loved it so much, I'm gonna continue it, but I'm gonna add. A walk around the block or something else. And I, if we think about that entire journey instead of just the destination, I think it helps us continue to have it right. Flor: I think that also it's be, it's become very like trendy to do like vision boards and prompt journals, habit journals, and everything is done in January and no one ever talks about what you should do in February. It's oh, you put your vision board, you put your

objectives in January, you write a letter to yourself for the new year, and you don't touch it until December. Michael Cupps: Yeah. Flor: 25:23

That's silly. I'm never gonna be able to do anything with that. Like there were some people that were like, no, you're supposed to look at it every couple of weeks to be able to track it and stuff. But like just the thought of tracking what I'm doing and what I'm not doing. It's a habit that I have to build. So it's like their habits stacking the wrong way. It is oh, I'm gonna go to the gym at five in the morning. Do you wake up at five in the morning? No, I wake up at nine. Oh, so you need two habits now. You need to wake up at five in the morning and you need to go to the gym. That's two things at the same time Michael Cupps: yep. Flor: That's hard. Michael Cupps: It's very hard. Yeah. Yeah. And the point of failure is twice now. If you don't wake up, you miss your workout. So now you're right. That's that you've gotta create. No, that's why I was thinking, talking to you earlier about environment make sure you're picking out an activity that you can be

successful at. If it's so counter to the way you live today, your chance of failure is so high right now. Sometimes people do that and they should. And then it's great. Somebody that's never run a marathon may become a marathoner, which is a fantastic thing, but not everybody can do that. The same way. So you just have to figure out what's gonna sit in your lifestyle that you can make better. Flor: 26:23

Yeah. Yeah. And I love that also. And you mentioned it also on the webinar for orderly meds. You mentioned this, have it stacking of good things. So like for example, I don't know about anyone else, but in, in Argentina, when you are a little kid, your parents force you to build a habit of brushing your teeth before bed. And I hated it when I was a kid, but now it's ingrained in me, like I can't go to bed without brushing my teeth. And so I was talking to my sister and she was telling me like, oh, you need to do your whatever face care routine. What do you have to brush your face? You have to wash your face before you go to bed, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, there's no way

I'm gonna remember that. But then if I do it before I brush my teeth, I always remember because I know I'm gonna brush my teeth. That's something that is completely ingrained in my life. Michael Cupps: Yeah. Flor: I have to be able, I have to always do it before I brush my teeth because I know I'm gonna brush my teeth. Michael Cupps: 27:23

Yeah. Yeah. I just did that this past year. I think I told you about it with, I, I go out for a walk with Oliver every morning and I knew I wanted to pick up my steps and my mileage. So now I walk him the same way I did before. Drop him off at the house and keep going, 'cause he's older so he, he didn't wanna go the whole time, but so it, but I was already in a walking mode. All I needed to do is let him in the house and keep going. And right. And Flor: I did that for this year. You should have it stack and listen to this like a little bit of pushups. So then you pick him up when he's tired, Michael Cupps: I carry him Flor: and you carry him. Yeah. And how you do three things. You're end building Michael Cupps: your I can stop, I do those hip workouts in the evenings. Now I go do three

times a week. So I can give those up if I carry Oliver around the neighborhood. Huh? Is that what you're saying? Flor: Exactly. Just gonna start, oh, this is big baby. Michael Cupps: Yeah. See two agreements. He's 114 pounds of big baby. He is looking at me. He knows I'm talking about him. Flor: Oh, we love Oliver. This podcast should be about Oliver. I'm sorry. I don't know if we do it. Michael Cupps: He just he's not real chatty in the mornings. Flor: Oh, it's okay. Michael Cupps: 28:23

Good. We talked about Quitter day, we talked about the way to form good habits. What else should we cover? Flor: I think that I don't, I don't, Twitter say I can't even, like. There's so much stuff that you preach and I don't follow, to be honest. Like when you mentioned the thing about Quitter's Day, I was like, I'm the number one quitter. I quit. Ever start. I don't know. I don't know why I am on this. Like you should be grilling me the whole episode if we're talking about Quitter's Day because I did everything I wasn't supposed to do. Like I I'm a member of this like beautiful club. Because my dad sails and stuff, and so I'm a member of it and they have a gym there. But the thing is, this place is like a 30 minute bus drive. And it's gorgeous. And I go a lot to just like the home office and stuff. But then it comes to the point where I can't keep that habit because, for example, I need to be able to have like lunch made in order to go, because otherwise it's gonna it's too expensive to have lunch every single time there at the club. Yeah. And then, I have to build my meetings and my calls in a way that I can go to the gym a specific time because there's a trainer who will check my form and stuff. And so it got to the point where it was like too many factors had to go in just for me to like consistently go to the gym. Michael Cupps: Yep. Flor: Never gonna work. Just absolutely never gonna work. And so what I did was I bought a mat on, the instrument. Michael Cupps: Yep. Flor: And I've been doing. Like at home, pitis and yoga stretches. Like whenever I am waiting for someone to answer something, that gives me anxiety. So if I text, yeah. So if I

email someone like a client, I email something that is risky or that the person has to approve a. How do you call it? A budget or something, and I really wanna know what they have to say about it, but I know I have to wait because they're not gonna ask me right away. We're not like robots. I do a little workout. Michael Cupps: 30:23

Yeah, that's perfect. That's perfect. I, there's, I think I mentioned it before, the doc, there's a doctor in the UK that recommends that. He calls it a, I think he called that five and five. So if you can do nothing else in your day, just while your coffee is brewing, do five minutes of leg lifts, arm raises, whatever did he squats, whatever you can do, just do it for five minutes and then over time, that probably will turn into a full workout at some point. But, Flor: And, I It's Michael Cupps: not what you mean. Flor: Yeah. Yeah. Michael Cupps: Like you said, you would just sit there and worried about that communication with that client. You've got your you did something for your body and mind, Flor: yeah. And the thing is I keep thinking about Coach Junior, who we also had on the podcast because I keep like doing the stretches and I'm like,

oh, the coach would be like, girl, you're doing everything. You're this. That's a weird position you're doing. I know that's correct. And I was like, but at least I'm doing something like at least I'm doing something. Michael Cupps: That's why they have gift food sized weights in a gym because not everybody does it the same way. So Flor: 31:23

No, and, but I remember he, he talked when he was on, he talked a lot about how important it was to do the correct form so you don't like mess up your body because then the next day you're not gonna wanna come to the gym because you like pulled the muscle doing something weird, right? No one asked you to lift like three kilograms, like there's no need. Yeah. You can just do it with your own weight. He his voice was just in my mind as I was doing like some weird contortion. I was like, hope I don't mess my leg up, because coach would be disappointed. Michael Cupps: Yeah. Yeah. I'm glad you're doing that though. That's a great substitution that you did for stress, that, that's one thing. I'd probably say one of the biggest a couple of the biggest things that inhibit you to continue a habit. One is being tired. If you're tired, you may not do it if you're hungry. Believe it or not, that's a sensation that will deter you from other things. And so I think there's a saying out there. I don't remember it but when you're hurt, tired or something else. But it's just, those kinds of things, you have to be aware of where you are. Stress is another one. So if you start feeling stress, it's good. It's fantastic for you to do some exercise. Even if it's for five or 10 minutes, you're just gonna change your perspective on that, what's causing the stress, but also your body will relax a little more. Flor: Yeah. I've talked a lot. I don't know why, like all the guests that you have on the Habit Architect, for some reason, they have a DDI. I don't know why, but like most of them that we talked about, like Jordan, Leslie, Courtney, they were all like, oh yeah, I have a DHD. And I'm like, oh, maybe it's a thing. Maybe we all have a DHD, Michael Cupps: yeah. Flor: Maybe the a HD is the friends we made along the way. But I was I forgot what I was saying. Michael Cupps: Speaking of A DHD, Flor: do I have a DHD? Michael Cupps: Just, I, just speaking

of it, you just. Flor: You know what I just did. I forgot what I was saying. Michael Cupps: Yeah. Flor: Nope. It's gone. I'm so sorry. Michael Cupps: Gone. Gone. We were talking about being stressed or being Flor: Oh, okay. Yeah. So there's this thing called the waiting period. So like when you're really excited about something and you have to wait. Michael Cupps: Yep. Flor: It's like your brain not do anything else. Michael Cupps: Yep. Flor: 33:23

So you just sit there and you wait. It can be good news, bad news, whatever news, right? Like anything, it can be a package for Amazon, it can be a test result for something medical, but you physically like your brain cannot think of anything else, so you wait. And the most things, most blocks were like, you should do exercise because you're not thinking when you do exercise, right? Michael Cupps: Yep. Flor: So if you're stuck in that waiting mode, Michael Cupps: yep. Flor: At least do exercise or cook or draw. Because your brain is not engaged, your brain is still stuck in waiting mode, but physically you're doing

something else. Something more. Michael Cupps: Yeah. Yeah. And that's you're absolutely right. And your body will react when, if it's exercise you're doing, your body will produce different chemicals that will help you overcome that anxiety that you're feeling. It's a, yeah. Michael Cupps: 34:23

Yeah. Stress is a massive thing that you see. Even your friend that was drinking because he was, had anxiety about performing in front of other people. Yeah. Social. But he was able to swap that with being confidence, right? So that anxiety turns confidence. And you can do that in just about any scenario. In most scenarios. When you're really feeling that stress, there's nothing you can do about it anyway. You said you were waiting on test results, you've already taken the test, so there's nothing you can do about it. You can't keep feeding the past, you just gotta be there in the present and tomorrow. And that there's a real power in that. You've called it take a moment or readiness. There, what I call is just take a pause, just a just pause for a moment and think about the different things that could happen so the test results come back and you, if they're good news, you're gonna be

elated. If they're bad news, you're gonna just have to go deal with it. And, but there's nothing you can do about it. So just think to yourself. It's also a good way if you're thinking about a bad habit, right? Yeah. Am I gonna eat those potato chips? Okay. What's the, it's a cost benefit analysis, right? I can eat 'em. I'm gonna feel good for about. 10 minutes and then I'm gonna feel bad, so would I rather just skip the chips and do something else? So if you, Flor: 35:23

I love that you say taking a pause because it's always followed by a choice. And I think that's like where the habits get built, right? Like anything can happen, all of these things are happening, whatever and you cannot do anything about it, but you always have a choice. Michael Cupps: Yeah. Yeah. Flor: So Michael Cupps: Oh yeah. Flor: Always when you take that pause and then that's like the make it or break it point, right? Like you make that choice. Michael Cupps: Yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely. Flor: That's like crazy. Michael Cupps: All right, so this was our call to anybody that quit on quitter's day. You can pick it back up. No one's gonna

fault you for picking it back up, for taking a few weeks off. Let's just get back onto it. Or if it wasn't the right habit that didn't meet your environmental circumstances, like temperature or space or whatever time, getting up too early, then alter it and pick something else. Get going, Flor: or start slower. Michael Cupps: Start slower like me. Flor: 36:23

If you were like, oh, the gym is too far away, it's too much commitment. Start just while you're brewing your coffee, doing some legwork, and then eventually in July you'll go to the gym. Yes. You'll make that choice. Michael Cupps: Yes. There you go. Yep. I think I think actually our last guest Chris Spears was a good one to go back and listen to too, if you're thinking about a lifestyle change. He he covered some good topics there. It's fabulous. But yeah. And next week we'll be back with a guest. Flor: Yes, Randy? Michael Cupps: Yes. Thank you for joining me today and talking through this. I wanted to address Quitter Day and I wasn't sure how to do it or what to do it, so I, I think it, I think we covered it well. Flor: I think that I probably distracted